Don't make out with my wife yet
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
