yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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