Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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