I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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