chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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