With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
