You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
