I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
