Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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