Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
