return my video game
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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