Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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