Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
