Me too!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
