You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
