erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
