my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
