Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
