Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My hand turned me down
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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