Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
