Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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