butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
