Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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