Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
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door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
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i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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