Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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