I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
