well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize