just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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