Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The adults are the big ones right?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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