woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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