i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
