it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
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It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
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Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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