his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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