My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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