my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
