He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize