do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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