Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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