I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize