I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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