i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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