I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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