there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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