but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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