there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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