and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
