you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
