As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
