david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize