How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
