Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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