Kiss
Puke
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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