this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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