Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
