Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize