the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
