Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
