you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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