pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
