I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
