I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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