Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
