hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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