Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
