i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
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