I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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