the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Randomize
