so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
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The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
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I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
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