when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
