ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
