taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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